Forming a long and happy relationship

Those couples who have a long-lasting and happy relationship are friends with their partner. They spend time together on shared interests as well as following their own with the support of the other. They are attentive to their partner, taking on tasks without being ask when the need arises. Whilst the couple may have different personality traits, they are a team of two equal parts. Successful couples work on resolving differences with compromise based on trust. They communicate honestly and respectfully.

Be honest

You know that honesty is essential for a long and happy relationship as it is the basis on which trust is built. However, there is no need to be brutally honest as this is insensitive to your partners feelings. Try to be kind when being honest, even if the conversation is difficult and uncomfortable.

You’re both unique people

You may both have different ways of expressing your love for each other. You may feel cherished when you hold hands when walking together. You may like to receive small gifts at times other than your birthday or on other celebrations. You may feel loved when your partner brings you coffee when you wake up. You are each different, so find out what your partner sees as an expression of your love and devotion to them. This allows you both to show your feelings for each other.

Celebrate your differences – every time you can – and memorize the moment with a cool present. You can get some good anniversary ideas for present at The Eternity Rose. Whilst some of your partner’s habits may irritate, concentrate on how your differences complement each other. If you partner is more easy-going, perhaps they help you to not take things so seriously. It may be that you were attracted to this part of their personality when you first met.

Make time for each other

Over your time together, you may find it difficult to spend quality time together. With children, pets, work and other responsibilities, our ability to give attention to our partner is limited. Schedule a date night to go for a meal, take a walk, watch a movie etc. Do different things on your date nights to keep it fun. Take it in turns to plan the date, perhaps try something new together like ice-skating, ballroom dancing, life drawing or a cookery class.

Make time for yourself

Making time to enjoy the things that you like is key to a long and happy relationship. After all, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”. If your hobby is rebuilding classic cars continue with this, just don’t wash the engine in the kitchen sink! If you want to volunteer at the local hospice, do it. Your partner will applaud your skills and be proud of the changes you make. Being independent, not just ‘the partner of’ is important and you’ll be happier for being so.

Laughter is the best medicine

Laugh with your partner, it makes the inevitable relationship challenges easier to overcome. Reminisce about shared experiences that you both found funny or watch your favourite comedian online. If you find your partner’s friends and family difficult, talk about it openly and honestly and find a solution that allows you distance without being rude.

Resolve your problems

Don’t try to win an argument at any cost. Consider your partner’s thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to find a solution together. When you argue, fight fair. Don’t shout, place blame or deliberately insult your partner. Explain what you are upset or frustrated about rather than placing blame. Try not to automatically go on the defensive if your partner is raising a problem, they may have a valid point. If an argument is getting too heated for either of you, take a break and come back to the topic when you’re calmer and ready to listen.

Admit when you make mistakes. If you can accept your own mistakes your partner is more likely to acknowledge their own.

Try to forgive. It’s healthier than holding a resentment. Did you have a part to play in creating the situation that now requires forgiveness? Is it really as big an issue as you first thought? Acknowledge, adapt and compromise as best you can and call in outside help from a counsellor if you need help to mediate.